Adim2 Jokes Corner

[adim2]

I no know but i know say na Aje start am and na O end am. which one u be.

[adim2]

see the beautiful city of Onitsha

[adim2]

A lawyer and a Nigerian are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Nigerians are so dumb that he can fool them easily... So the lawyer asks if the Nigerian would like to play a fun game. The Nigerian was tired and just wants to take a nap,
so he politely declined and tried to catch a few winks. The lawyer persisted and said that the game was a lot of fun.  'I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5,
 You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500..' This caught the Nigerian attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agreed to play the game.
The lawyer asked the first question.  'What's the distance from The Earth to the moon?' The Nigerian didn't say a word, he reached in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, was the Nigerian's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'
The lawyer used his laptop, searched all the references he knew. He used the air-phone; he searched the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sent e-mails to all the smart friends he knew, all to no avail. After one hour of searching, he finally gave up. He wakes up the Nigerian and hands him $500. The Nigerian pockets the $500 goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is went nuts not knowing the answer. He woke the Nigerian up and asked, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?' The Nigerian reaches in his pocket, handed the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

[adim2]

A woman was walking down the street past a pet shop, and when she looked in the window there was a gorgeous parrot for sale with a sign that said "500 Naira".
She had always wanted a parrot, but had found them to be too expensive, so she rushed in and asked the proprietor, "Why is this parrot so cheap?"

"Well," he replied, "You see, that parrot was in a brothel for awhile, and learned some bad language, so nobody seems to want it."

How bad could it be?, the woman thought. Finally, she decided to buy it anyway, as it was such a beautiful bird. She took it home in a cage and put it on the table.

The parrot looked around and said "Awk! New House, New Madam!" "Well," the woman thought, "That's not so bad."

Then the woman's two daughters came home from school. "Awk!", the parrot said, "New Madam, New Ashawoes!"

Well, that upset them a bit, but they tried to laugh it off, and decided that wasn't so bad either. Then the woman's husband came home from work.

"Awk!" The parrot said, "New Madam, New Ashawoes, Same old faces! Hi George!"

[Smartfrank]

So funny. Keep it up.

[Innocky]

Adim,dis z certainly a God given talent u av. Utilize gt wel. I wil save al dis 2 mi memory 4 easñ off.

[adim2]

@innocky

thanks. pls can u introduce urself. I can see that u are a newbie so taht we can welcome you.

@house
More spicy jokes coming up. thumbs up to you guys

[adim2]

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.
Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that  they both brought chicken sandwiches every day!
This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades until one day he
noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich. He said, hey, how come
you're not eating chicken, don't you like it any more?" She said " I love it but I have to stop eating it." "Why?" he asked. She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"
"Let me see" he said. "Okay" and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, "That's right you are, better not eat any more chicken." He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut
butter. He said to the little girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!" She asked if she could look so he pulled down his pants for her. She said "Oh, my God, it's too late for you, you've already got the neck and the gizzards."

[adim2]

Once at a conference in the year 2001, three scientists: an American, a German and a Nigerian, were tailking and bragging about the technological advances their respective
countries have achieved in the field of medicine. Says the American,"In Washington, there was a baby boy
born without forearms, so we attached artifial forearms on him. And now that he is grown, he has
becom an Olympic boxer and a gold medalist at that!" The German replied, "That's nothing to what we have done back in berlin, there was a baby girl born without legs, we attached artificial legs on her, she is 3 times marathon gold medalist in the Olympics!!"
he Nigerian interjected laughingly, "Is that all you have done, just gold medalist? In Abeokuta, we had a
baby boy born without a head! We attached a coconut to his neck and he is now the president of my country!!!

[adim2]

Last two weeks I was lonely so I decided to visit the girl I was about to marry. When I got to her house, she was not around, I only meet her mother and their dog Bingo. So her mother welcomed me. Before going to visit her, I ate 3 plates of beans, egg and dodo. So when I was at her place in the parlour with Bingo next to my side, my stomach started rumbling, then I peeped and I notice that her mother was in the kitchen preparing something for me, So I decided to let out one from my anus, At that time the mother shouted BINGO! Huh, So I was happy and thought she knew that it was bingo that was responsible for the mess. So I decided to release two at the same time, the woman shouted louder this time BINGO!! BINGO!!! Huh. I was so happy and forget when I release the last one. With anger the woman shouted. BINGO will you get away from that parlour before this young man kills you with Mess. Immediately, I told the woman that I am going

[Amy N]

Lol,wb Adim2

[adim2]

thanks. I did this joke when I was looking for admission in UNILAG

[adim2]

THANK GOD WE ARE NOT IN UNILAG

UNILAG is the only place where you have the following...............

1.A guy goes to Jand and his aburo (younger brother) in UNILAG speaks "fone" on his behalf...with a Yankee accent...thanks 2 AIT jamz

2.A good looking guy has clothes and insists he cannot get a girl till he gets that new Sean John shirt and the new Timberland boots...his pair which was sent from Yankee 5 months ago is now old

3.The same guy gets the aforementioned clothes and gets a 504 without a/c and now says he needs his a/c so he can get chicks....

4. When he gets the a/c he now needs a chassis car cuz this one fucked him up outside newest hall and he entered school mag....

5.When he does get this Lexus he dreams of, he now wonders why certain guys and girls on main campus chin him....okay now he needs to join a club..Rho, ABC anything...anything but Students
union

6.He now carries the club chief up and down campus....strangely the club chief is wearing Hausa slippers, faded jeans and T shirt and still gets MORE props (from chicks AND guys) as they drive round school...there's something wrong here!?!??

7.The amount of money u pay for a BQ can rent u an apartment in Onike...

8. The amount u pay for a bed-space in smelly morems can rent u an apartment in VGC...

9.Five goons go to beach and get high on cheap liquor (apeteshi, indo and things) and enter A-Bar or Ocean View, buy one beer(to share) and then look stoned all night long...

10.People wear their finest for classes and then dress casually to church,parties etc

More are coming

[Amy N]

Lol this is what UNILAG is known for but isn't Nsukka like that?

[adim2]

More coming up

[adim2]

11.A super ugly babe can be a babe if she has a clan of pretty chicks who follow her for divine advice...and a few clothes and "chickly" sunglasses

12. A skele is a belle, a belle is a babe, a babe is a movie star.

13.Niggers spend more than their father paid for their mothers bride price for the toasting process and still get no play............

14. A guy will "jabo" his mother so he can pick up his belle in school...

15. A guy leave his exam hall early so he can drive his babe from main campus to morems...

16.A guy can tell u all about the complex calculations of Beckham or Kanus weekly salary but cannot calculate his GP...

17.A guy can run off the entire lyrics of bone thugs and harmony entire album and cannot recall anything from his classes an hour before

18.Everybody has a guy/babe in jand...and i mean EVERYBODY

19.Chicks eat chicken and chips all semester and then eat eba, ogi and agbo jedi throughout the holidays....

20.Six niggers in a 504 who share the same room in El-Kanemi wonder why dem no get any chick for the rave wey dem just dey come  from....oh and they all use the same cheap perfume

[kabuore]

@adim2 2 be truthful dat skul really dey turn pple to anoda tin especially dose ones dat re easily influenced

[adim2]

My letter to Bill Gates
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
I have bought a computer for my home and I have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. I request you to check this.

2. I find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends (studio) clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, I request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife (Yuddie) lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My children (ejibond,com oz, smartfrank, kabuore, wando, gentleemmy, okwyjesus, pendragon. Bblacky, Amy N,edithspecial, Mr token,) learnt 'Microsoft word' now they wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when will you provide that?

6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when will  you provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When will you provide 'My Past Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go to after my office hours.

Regards,

Adim 2

Last one to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS??

[adim2]

More Jokes

One day Janes mother was out and her dad was in charge of her.
she was about 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given her a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of her favorite toys.

Her Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when she brought Daddy a little cup of "tea", which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, her Mom came home.

Her Dad made her Mom wait in the living room to watch her bring him a cup of tea, because it was "just the cutest thing!"
Her Mom waited, and sure enough, she walked down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watched him drink it up.

Then her Mon said, (as only a mother would know,  "Honey Did it ever occur to you that the only place that your daughter can reach to get water is the toilet?",

[Amy N]

Ha! water from d toilet,lol.