Adim2 Jokes Corner

[adim2]

xpect more nice jokes

[Umunna Gabriel Chimezie]

Haaaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaaa. O boi u too much .My belle don dey pain me now 4rm over-laughter. More of these please.

[adim2]

nothing do you.

[adim2]

Rich Corpse
An African couple were living together in the bounds of Holy Matrimony. Well, it wasn't so Holy. The Husband liked to take control of everything so the wife had very little breathing space.
The husbands health began to deteriorate slowly.
One day he called his wife to his room and said to her "woman, when I die, I want go with my money oh, all the money I have spent the last few years of my life accumulating. Put it all in the coffin.
So the wife being the good person that she was, kindly agreed.
The husband soon passed away and the wife made all the preparations for a funeral. On the day of the funeral, and in front of all that gathered, she threw a large envelope into the coffin.
Her friend who was sitting next to her turned and asked her what she was doing.
When the woman explained the agreement, her friend lashed into her... "you stupid idiot, bitch, idiot upon ignoramus, instead of you to take the money and run like a turkey during Christmas, you sit there like a monkey during a free bannana convention, abeg go relax your head".
The woman, upset by the violent attack by a good friend, sat there quietly sobbing.
Then her mother joined in to give a piece of her mind.
The woman, quietly fumming, turned to both her mother and the friend and replied "I wrote him a check!".

[Amy N]

Very funny,a cheque indeed!LOL

[adim2]

I am back. I think I will continue with my jokes

[phronesis]

I am back. I think I will continue with my jokes

We've been waiting and we are still waiting patiently

[adim2]

chairman sir, i go do make i post more of my jokes

[adim2]

Feel this picture, Its show how ................................

[adim2]

21 first century Facts about ninja

Our communication     -  Wireless
Our phones                - Cordless
Our cooking                -  Fireless
Our food                     - Fatless
Our Sweets                - Sugarless
Our labor                    - Effortless
Our relations               -  Fruitless
Our attitude                - Careless
Our feelings                - Heartless
Our politics                 - Shameless
Our education             - Worthless
Our Mistakes              - Countless
Our arguments            - Baseless
Our youth                   -  Jobless
Our Ladies                 - Topless
Our Boss                   -  Brainless
Our Jobs                    -  Thankless
Our Needs                  -  Endless
Our situation               -  Hopeless
Our Salaries               -  Less and less

[adim2]

For instance, when you ask God to make you a millionaire in dollars do not forget to specify the particular currency because you may become a millionaire in Zimbabwe dollars (1 US Dollar = 371,283,808.37 Zimbabwe Dollars)

[adim2]

MARRIAGE IN 9JA

With love, I thee wed....
BEFORE MARRIAGE.....

HE: Yes. At last! It was so hard to wait.

SHE: Do you want me to leave?

HE: No! Don't even think about it!

SHE: Do you love me?

HE: Of course! Over and over.

SHE: Have you ever cheated on me?

HE: No! Why are you even asking?

SHE: Will you kiss me?

HE:Every chance I get.

SHE: Will you hit me?

HE: Are you crazy? I am not that kind of person.

SHE: Can I trust you?

HE: Yes

SHE: Darling!

...............AFTER MARRIAGE
SIMPLY READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP 

[phronesis]

lol... this is soooo funny But, as young people with a different attitude, we've started making marriage look, feel and be what it should be - it's sooo sweet to be married

[adim2]

I hear you my chairman sir

[adim2]

12 ways to make the determination if you are Paki or Bota

If you step on a nail and bleed, you might be ‘Bota,
If you step on a nail and BEND IT, you're ‘Paki!

If you see the words Madam, Sir or Esq. after your folks name on an envelope, you might be an ajebota...
But, if people refer to your folks as either "Iya-beji", "Mama-baby", "Mama-Chukwudi", or "Baa Lamidi", you are NOT ajebota!

If you have your home periodically fumigated with scentless pest repellants so it's virtually roach and termite free, you might be an Ajebota....
But, if your aim with either your Cortina or Skoll can nail a flying cockroach to the wall, you're an Ajepaki!

If your folks carry wallets and purses, you're possibly an Ajebota,...
But if your mom reaches into her bra to get money in the glaring eyes of the public, your Paki is level 5!

If you have a borehole installed in your compound for year round water supply, you might be an Ajebota, ...
But if either you have a 'kanga' irrigation system or the middle of your head is hairless due to having logged over 65,000miles from hauling pails of water, you're an Ajepaki!

If, after using the bathroom, you have an assorted barrage of scented toilet tissues to choose from, you just might be an Ajebota,..
But if you use water to 'tamba' ya self, you're an Ajepaki!

If you brush, rinse, gargle and floss, you just might be an Ajebota....
But if, after chewing your Pako,you can spit the pako-paste 40 yards, your pakiness is considered level 10!

If you had underwear that had the elastic bands at the waistline, you could be an ajebota,....
But if your underwear looks like the flag of Ghana and has a drawstring, you're DEFINITELY PAKI!

If you happened to have wandered into a neighborhood during Ileya and got amazed by the fact that people found ram-fights amusing, you might be an Ajebota, .....
But if YOU took the ram to fight after feeding it 'igbo', you are definitely a paki!

If your home has sophisticated theft deterrent systems like barbed-wires, dogs, a camera and an alarm system, you just might be an Ajebota,....
But if people are scared to scale your fence because of widely spread rumors of your folks having installed a SHIGIDI' (whatever that is), you're an Ajepaki!

If you go to a hair salon in Naija to get your do, you just might be a ‘bota,..
But if you and your 'onidiri' sit for six hours on an Apoti under a tree while she did your hair, you're PAKI!

Finally, if you and your mate know what foreplay means, you just might be a ‘bota,....
But if you try foreplay with your woman and she replies impatiently: "Baa Karimu, E se' nte' se, E ye f'ori Omu si E', you are a PAKI!!

[adim2]

More New jokes spicy jokes coming up

[adim2]

Bastard


Pls read through this conversation …

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.

PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?

GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist kissed the girl

GIRL: ......Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL:But, he put his hand in my top.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top

GIRL:Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL:But, he took my clothes off.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes

GIRL:Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL:But, he had sex with me!

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist had sex with the girl

GIRL:.Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL:But, then he told me he has AIDS.

PSYCHIATRIST:BASTARDDDDDD!!!!!

[adim2]

 VACANCY


A foremost Political Party in Nigeria , popularly referred to as "The Ruling Party", requires for immediate appointment into the House of Representatives, a qualified Hooligan with the following professional qualifications:

First degree in Boxing or Kick boxing.
A Professional diploma in aggressive cover-up techniques.
MUST be a duly certified LIAR with vast experience in corrupt practices.
Must be ready to shun the voices of the People in allegiance to the Party's wishes.
Possession of a falsified educational degree will be an added advantage.

Duly qualified candidates should please forward their detailed CV's to the Party Secretariat.

NB: Please note that candidates with deadly upper-cuts will be given preference.
The selection process will definitely be biased and open to changes without notice, as this is part of the party policy.

Short listed athletes will be given a course in Political Jargons' to familiarize them with the language of the tournament.

BEST OF LUCK!!

[Amy N]

Funny,funny,funny i'm laughing to sleep.

[kabuore]

@adim2 u go kill person oh... dis is joke at its peak thumbs up am luving all bt especially d one abt ajepako nd ajebo.. i actually cried with that one bt anyway one question for u which one u bi Ajebo or Ajepako.............