Jokes Entertainment Cinema!!

[ejibond]

Hello forumites!! i just felt like doing something dat will take off abit of una stress instead of coming online and going offline with dem....I wil entertain una with  something like d one i did about Bat, called Bartho's Inspiration but don't worry guyz cos it won't b about Bartho dis time around but about something dat did happen but wil be doing it in a joke version...

Read carefully, Imagine it as u read & Enjoy!!

[ejibond]

    THE GOLDEN JUBILEE part 1

D golden jubilee is about d bomb blast dat rock abuja during d october 1st anniversary celebration.
Note dat it's a joke version o!!

Far in a vilage called Gbomgbola(imaginary),land of d militants,two  frnds(Headek & Maga) are playing a chess game & starts conversating.

Headek: hahaah! c, I go show u saaay na me b ur masta of all mastasses 4 dis game..hehehe!...Oya,play!

Maga: c u oo! I don tell u b4 make u no dey make too much mouth bcos i go flog u nonsensetical 4 dis game...i don play....oya play ur own.

Headek:hehehe!! you?...flog me nonsensetical? haba!! u just dey make me laf...see,i don dey play dis game b4 ur mama even think of to born u sef.... i go flog u pass nonsensetical 4 dis game...na ur turn,oya play!

Maga: buhaha! c me c wahala o! between Me & u, who pass 4 age? I take 5 gud yrs senior u & u dey tell me say ur mama don born u b4 me...infact,e bi like say d too much ogobrukungwo wey u dey take dis days don dey scrap ur brain...abegi...play jaree!

Headek: na fight?...look,i no dey joke at all 4 dis mata! i don come dis world b4 u...4get say u pass me 4 age o..

Maga: shoo!! na how u take 1st me come dis world and i con senior u 4 age na!?

Headek: u no fit undastand...

Maga: yes! i no undastand at all...dat na  y i want make u explain to me how dem 1st born u b4 and u con dey slow 4 age like snail?

Headek: slow 4 age?? Me no slow 4 age at all o...wetin hapen be saay,afta dem born me finish, na im dat civil war con start...so, i con go re-enta inside my mama belle again so dat.....

Maga:(burst into lafta) buhahahahahaha!!...hohohohahaha!

Headek: aah!! which kind laf con be dis one now??

Maga:(stil lafing) i dey laf bcos..hahahahahaha!!..i say i dey laf bcos wetin u just tell me now na d most koloest tin i don eva hear 4 my whole life...hahaha!! y u no enta inside ur papa belle instead?

Headek: wetin dat one con mean? na man dey born pikin?

Maga: abegiii...na todaaay!? make i hear word jaree....con,make we continue our game oo!! who dey play sef..?

Headek: wait o...na me dey play...oya chop 1,chop 2, chop3,4,5,6 aaannddd 7!!...oya play!

Maga:(surprised) wait o! wetin u just play na na?? u don dey do ojoro abi?

Headek:hahaha! u neva c anytin yet...ppplaaaay joooo!!


To be continue.......

[mac-blend]

Soothing relief. U too much.

[collinsreal]

Lol

[ejibond]

THE GOLDEN JUBILEE Episode 2

Continues from last episode...

(As they are playing,anoda frnd,Gago,walkd to in)

Gago: Headisko & Maga! na here una dey?

Headek: aaah! Gago! na u??....yes o..! na here we dey oo!...but make u wait small, i go soon finish maga 4 u to enta..

Maga: who u wan finish?

Headek: u naa! i don dey win u already naa!

Gago: luk! dis no be time 4 who wan finish or not!

Headek:wetin u mean?

Gago: una neva hear d tory wey dey grand so?

Maga: tory?...which kind tory be dat wan?

Gago: oh!! so una neva hear say our plesident wan take billionz of our moni do ordinari parti??

Headek:(surprised) ketuketu bambam eeehh!...& dem dey preach 4 us say no moni 4 diz contiri..?!

Maga: but wait o! na which kind parti be dat wan sef??

Gago: eehm! wetin dem call am sef o?? ehen.! i don rememberam,dem say na Golden Gubili parti...

Headek: Golden wetin?? wait o! u mean say dem wan take all our contiri moni do just gubili parti wey hungari dey hamma person 4 here?...kaai!!..c,as una dey c me so,na gaaarrrii!! i mean, confirm gaarri & coconut na im dey my belle since moning,i neva even eat any...

Maga:(cut in) gago! com com com com com..!! na how many billionz sef?

Gago:eehmm! e bi like say na 100 billion..

Headek: ketuketu bambam eeehh!! 100 billion?? chaaai! person don suffa!

Gago: luk o! dis no be time 4 ketuketu bambam at all..oga Ak wan c us about dis mata..

Headek: b4 nko! i trust oga ak naa! oga ak no go fit fold hand dey luk dem chop moni just like dat con dey tell us gubili..

Maga:yes nawww!!

Gago:oya make we begin go...

Headek: naw naw??

Gago: yes na!

Headek: aah! no o!...we need to finish dis game b4 we go o!

Gago: headek!! na wetin b ur problem?? I tell u say oga AK wan c us and you dey talk of game..between dis game wey u dey play & oga AK whch wan important pass?

Maga:(interupt)hahaha! na headek be im problem na!

Headek: maga, shut up make i arrange small time 4 dis game na....eehmm, gago! I know wetin u mean but...i need to show dis maga saaay na me be im oga for dis game bcos e don teeey well well wey maga don dey drag my hand for dis game...now na d time 4 me to flog am..

Maga: youuu, flog meee?? infact,na small pikin u be 4 dis game sef...

Headek: u hearam? Gago! shey u just hear wetin he just talk abi?

Maga: i saaay, u b small pikin,origina small pikin 4 dis game...

Headek: oyaa, make we begin play naw naw...i go show u who b nwatakiri 4 dis game.

To be continued.....

[mac-blend]

Nwatakiri baaa!! I d w8 o!

[ejibond]

no problem...

[machina]

i sure say next episode no go take time like unn admission list o o? !.    you dey play this show like super story, wey dem dey stop 4 d place wey e b like say salt concentration dey high 4 d story.

[mac-blend]

i sure say next episode no go take time like unn admission list o o? !.    you dey play this show like super story, wey dem dey stop 4 d place wey e b like say salt concentration dey high 4 d story.

Baba cook ur own o! While w8in we can kip d forum going wit sum relief.

[machina]

@mack, my bro, no mind me. i no sabi cook o o, na only 2 shop i sabi & i be very good @ that, cos i dey request for more.  i no dey try?

[collinsreal]

-a laughter story: A guy was washin plate in d kitchen and flat was upstairs in a tall building.As he finished d washing,he threw d dirty water frm the up window to d down floor where sum goats were grazing inside his compound field.Not minding his carefree attitude afterall \"goats are animals\",he thougt in his mind.His careless nemesis was to meet him after sum minutes when he heard a furious knock on his kitchen door,d knock was like\"gbam! Gbam!! Gbam!!!!\".Being uncomfortable,ike open d door,and \"lo and behold,he saw a he-goat standing on two hoofs instead of four with a long black beard.The goat looked at him like a human angryily and said\"shoo,oh boy,u know no say na people dey chop grass for down there,why pour water on us\".The boy in reply trembled in fear saying\"sorry sir,e no go happen again,abeg!\".The goat then gave a warning gesture and went away.

[machina]

@mack, my bro, no mind me. i no sabi cook o o, na only 2 shop i sabi & i be very good @ that, cos i dey request for more.  i no dey try?

[ugocindy]

Nice 1 there! @ Eji, i no knw say u sabi crack ribs lyk dis...wow. Permission 2 write episode 3 4 u?...lol. reply pls

[mac-blend]

@machina notin do u atal atal. Make u d try dmand small. Bt if u no mind, try cook 1 4 us. If u do i go troway 1 4 una.

[ejibond]

@ugocindy
abeg make u no wahala ur sef at all...a want make una relax ontop of una laptop,fone or any browser wey una dey use and enjoy una sef to d fullest...episode 3 con come up shortly afta dis post...i go dey drop diferent episode 4una evryday until d story complete...Enjoy!

[ejibond]

THE GOLDEN JUBILEE Episode 3

CONTI FROM EPISODE 2

Gago:luk o! i no go fit sidon here dey watch una play dis game atall o!

Headek: gago abeg naa! make u give us small time to play dis game finish na..

Gago:hmm! Ok na...infact,i go like knw who go win d game cos una two don dey make mouth 2much like parot 4 dis game...

Maga: ehen!...na now u come..

Gago: una know wetin go hapen?...make una do d game like dis...anybodi wey lose dis game go do boi-boi 4 me for one week..shey una agree?

Maga & Headek:  ooonneee weeekkk??

Gago: yes naw!

Maga: no o! One week 2 much na

Headek: ok! make we do am like dis...anybody wey lose go dey buy drink 4 d winner for 1week..

Maga: eehen! dat wan dey me ok...but gago, u get big sense o! so u want make we con do boi boi 4 u abi?

Headek: hahaha! no mind am,na lazy man im be..

Gago: una no go begin play?

Headek: ok,but na who dey play?

Maga: ah! na me dey play na...remember say na u chop me..

Headek: oya play na...i dey wait

(As they were playing,wako d 2nd leada, then ring gago on d fone)

Gago:(grin grin grin)...hello! ah..! wako! na u? how ur wife na?

Wako: u dey craaaze? na me u dey ask dat kind kwetion?

Gago: wako abeg no vex...na mistake i do...i wan been ask u how ur life but wife con go enta my mouth..no vex abeg...na d ogogoro wey i shack cos am

Wako: den u beta limit dat ogogoro b4 u go bgin ginger pple wife....na 4 where u dey?

Gago: ah! I dey with maga & headek o

Wako: wetin una dey do dere? Abi una no know say oga ak wan c evrybodi?...una beta carry una zombie body con here na na b4 oga ak shot una into wilie wilie.

Gago: aah! abeg o, make he no shot us o...we dey come na na naww(wako hang's up d fone)

Headek: gago na wetin?...wetin wako tell u wey make ur face con ugly like gorila face? abi no be wako call u 4 fone?

Gago: oboy! una game don over o..wako talk say oga talk say d last person to come go live wit im great granpa o

Headek:grt granpa? aah wahala dey o..but what of our game na?

Maga: headek abeg i no dey play again...i neva wan die yet

Headek: u dey fear? u knw say i go win u...dat na y u dey run.

Maga: go sidon jaree!! Na mouth u just get like pon pon pon pon

Headek: if to say no b wako call wey con wahala dis game baa,i for don finish u since na.

Maga: sidon dere dey talk..me i don go leave u here..

Headek: aaah! abeg make una wait 4 me naa! I neva wan visit any granpa yet oo!... gago..! maga..!! wait 4 me naaa!

To be continue....

[ejibond]

THE GOLDEN JUBILEE Episode 4

Continuation of Episode3

(At dere meeting camp,ak47,wako,maga,gago,headek,sambo & many odas where present and d leada begins)

Ak:(clear throat)uumm umm!! now as d oga of dis caba,make i welicome una all 4 dis veli impotant mitin wey we don gada for...eem! sebi una all sabi d main tin wey gada us 4 here abi??

(All remain silent and luking)

Ak: na wetin b dis one? shey na ghost i dey talk to abi na human?...y una dey luk me like mumu con dey quiet 4 me??...luk,make una no make me vex 4 here o!

Maga: oga no be like dat na..!

Ak:na like how?

Headek:aah! Oga,na like d hungri wey dey waya person 4 belle b d how...

Ak: na whch kind hungri b dat one wey con make una dey luk me like..! like!!..eemmm!

Headek: oga! u no go fit undasand d kind hungri wey we dey talk abt bcos u be oga..

Ak: na wetin dat wan con mean??

Gago:ah! oga, u knw say hungri no dey waya ogas dem naa...so u no go fit undasand d kind hungari wey dey waya us na naw....

Ak: dat na d point!! dat na wetin i dey talk about!

Maga: but oga! na wetin u mean?

AK: gud!! i like dat kwetion wey u ask me...una all knw about d parti wey dem wan do on octoba 1st abi?

Wako: yes, we knw about am, dem say na golden gubili parti be dat..

Ak: dat gubili no b d main tin...d main tin na d cash wey dey involve na im mata pass..

Gago: so oga, na wetin we fit do?

Ak: u be monkey!...na wetin i talk?

Gago: ah! dat wan simple na..u talk say u be monkey na! abi no b wetin u talk?

Ak: no! I say u gago be monkey!...y u dey ask me say wetin we fit do wen u knw wetin we be?..abi u don 4get how we dey shake grand like earth quake b4?

Wako: oga make u no mind am,maybe he don 4get im brain 4 im house b4 he come dis mittin...so oga! na wetin b d plan now?

Ak:gud! dat na y i like u,u sabi tink like me....ok! dis na wetin we go do...

Gago:(cut in) wako! wako!! i no like am o..y u dey curse me? If na u,u go like am?

Ak: gago e don do...he no curse u..but make u sef dey use ur head na...As i dey talk b4,i say we go get our own share frm dat moni..

Headek: our share? but oga,na how we go take get am?

Ak: we go send msg to mr presido con tell am wetin b our own share b4 dem go fit do dat parti or else no parti atall..

Sambo: una sure say dem go gree listen to us so?

Ak: if dem no gree listen den we go show dem who b who...

Headek: eem! e be like say i know person wey fit connect us to dem...wait make i call am..!


To be continued.....

[ejibond]

    THE GOLDEN JUBILEE Episode 5

Headek:(on fone call)wello! wello!! Frug, u dey hear me so?

Frug: yes i dey hear u! How u dey?

Headek: i dey gud...eem, frug!

Frug: wetin?

Headek: e get wan tin wey i want make u do 4 me..

Frug: na wetin b dat tin?

Headek: i want make u help me tap into presido numba 4 aso rock..

Frug: aso rock? Aaah! dat wan no go easy o! but i go try shaa! em..na wetin hapen?

Headek: abeg,make am easy cos we wan do sharp runs with mr presido

Frug: sharp runs? hmmm! Oboy, na wetin go b my own share 4 d runs?

Headek: no wowi,we go see u if d runs work...just pray say make e work

Frug: notin do u atall...d runs go work..make i begin do d tapping na naw!

Headek! No qualms..we go yarn leta(hang up)....ehen! I don call d guy & he say he go help us...

Maga: u sure say dat ur frog of a frnd fit do d job?

Headek: abeg,i no get any frnd wey b frog

Maga: but i hear u mention frog na..

Headek: may b d ear piece 4 ur ear don scarta...na frug b im name no b frog..u hear?

Sambo: how gud dis ur frog dey? emm! sebi na frog u call am?

Headek: no b frog na frug! shey ear dey pain una?? anyway sha,una go soon c how gud im dey wen he call me back..

Ak: we dey wait am...make we just hope say d tin go work or i go.....

Headek:(interup) he don dey call...wait make i put am for speaker...wello! Frug,how far?

Frug: alfar dey mosque...eem,d tin don work,wait make i konect dem....ok! i don konect am..

Sektry: hello,secretary to aso rock speaking..who is on line?

Ak: wello sektry! put oga presido 4 fone,we wan negosilate wit mr presido..

Sektry: who is dis and what negociation are u talking abt?

Ak: i be AK-47,d oga of d militantos 4 gbomgbomla town,wetin i dey talk abt b say....

Sektry:(cut in) luk! I don't knw who u are,what u want or even how u get dis numba but am gonna tell u to desist frm calling dis line or u wil've ur pity sef to blame 4 it(cut phone)

Ak: aaah! insult! dat rat insult me? she knw who i be?

Sambo: i tell una b4 say dem no go listen..

Ak: imagine! she even call me..me ak,oga  of d militantos, say i be pity sef...aaah! I go show dem who b pity sef..

Gago: wetin u wan do now?

Ak: action! action na wetin i wan do...but 1st,we go nid call our pipo 4 area-C cos we go nid dere konection 4 dis plan...

Wako: wetin b d plan?

Gago:(interup) luk! d plan wey me i dey tink be say make we kidnap dat yeye sektry con ask 4 big moni b4 we free am...wetin una tink?

To be continued...

[emilink]

@Eji u 2much abeg continue....i don laf tire o!....lol

[machina]

ok now, make we they wait for the kidnappers na.......